8/30/2006

Could I have gotten me-self a new boyfriend?

Perhaps... perhaps... perhaps...

So. I've been lost from the Blogosphere cause I was out of town... at a "Kosher Beach Cocktail"... with 200 single jewish people. What an amazing time!!! We drank, we partied, we sang!!! Met a lot of people from out of town and also a lot of people from here. And guess what? I found a boy I like who aparently likes me!!! And guess what the best part is??? He's local... not leaving... no long distance!!! So far, so good. He calls, he's a gentleman, he's handsome.. he's great!!! I'll keep you posted... and... ejchemmm.. if all works out, maybe you guys can drop the bomb on Spiderman, so I don't have to.

Well... we're in Gd's hands now. If he's my bashert we'll eventually know.

Big kiss to all... and, ummm... daven for RenReb's inspiration to blog to come back. I miss her.

8/22/2006

I've been tagged!!!

The war in Israel apparently overloaded Bloglanders with too many hours of computer time, opinions and propaganda, so everybody seems to have been taking a break, myself included. I was going to post about something that pissed me off, and then I realized I got tagged, therefore changed my perspective of the post to something I found more fun. So here it is:

1. One book that changed your life?
Eckhart Tolle- The Power of Now
I've mentioned it before in this blog... this book is a fantastic read. Say goodbye to anxiety and depression for the rest of your life. Tolle's outlook on life, on G-d and on the irrelevance of the past and future make you think twice, three times and a hundred times of the innecesary suffering we put ourselves through so often.

2. One book you have read more than once?
The Little Prince- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I read this book constantly. It's beautiful, real and uplifting. (Yes, REAL. If you don't think so, you're just another grown-up like the ones he mentions.)
Jurassic Park-Michael Crichton
It's nothing like the movie. Jurassic Park might be a novel, but it is a book on Chaos Theory. It's fantastic.
Picture of Dorian Grey- Oscar Wilde
I read it ever so often... great quotes. Reminds me of whom I wouldn't ever want to become.

3. One book you would want on a desert island?
The Little Prince... and Torah, of course...

4. One book that made you laugh?
Jewish as a Second Language- Molly Katz hilariousssssss

5. One book that made you cry?
Paula- Isabel Allende
Tuesdays at Morrie's- Mitch Albom
Both books... I started crying from the first page.

6. One book you wish had been written?
A history book called "and the World Lived Happily Ever After"

7. One book you wish had never been written?
Every hateful book...

8. One book you are currently reading?
Sex Matters... From sex to superconsciousness-Osho
I'm only halfway through, but this book focuses on avoiding the control sex has on human lifes, appreciating the connection a sexual relation can bring to G-d as it is a most holly act, the manifestation of G-d's creative energy.

9. One book you've been meaning to read?
So much to read!!! So little time!!! I'm missing hundreds of books... I have some Isabel Allende's to read, I want to read a couple by Garcia Marquez, and a whole lot more... and of course, Harry Potter book 7, but JKR doesn't want to publish yet! Move, woman!!! We're waiting!!!

10. Now I'm supposed to tag 5 people... but, mmmm, I'll just let my readers (if there are any) tag themselves. :o)

Have a good one!

8/11/2006

TGIS!!! (Thank Gd it's Shabbat)

too tired to think. too tired to write. can't have more caffeine. mom had car accident today. B'H all ok. watched too many you tube videos. energy drained from thinking of 3 1/2 yr old girl on video saying she hates jews because we are apes and pigs, as the Coran allegedly says (haven't read Coran, doubt the words are there, if anyone can give full info, highly appreciated). tired of thinking of woman on video assuring Talmud says it is ok to rape 3 year old girls or something of the like, stopped paying attention by then. tired of fake pictures and cheap propaganda. tired of fear. tired of misinformation. tired of cruelty. tired. plain old tired.

that's why Hashem gave us Shabbos. rest, relax, and enjoy your loved ones. have a good one.

Shabbat Shalom.

8/10/2006

Extra! Extra!

Extra extra!!! Read all about it. Men are so funny, no doubt about it!!!

So, news from Spiderman. We talked through IM this morning. Says he was about to call me last night, yet didn't... why did he want to call??? Because he wanted to talk about the most amazing, life-changing book he's read in a while, book which of course, I recommended. Now then, we talked for like 1 minute about the book, and then the subject changed.

Spiderman: So, my parents said they saw you last Friday at Shull...
Jewcess: I see your parents at Shull all the time... I was in class with your mom last night. (?!?!)
Spiderman: Yeah, but, they said you showed up with a guy.
Jewcess: Really? (ha, ha, ha... evil laughter...is Spiderman JEALOUS?!?!)
Spiderman: Who is he??? I told them it must be your next door neighbor, ummm, right?
Jewcess: Ummm, no. It was Jon Doe, from London, moved here a couple of months ago.
Spiderman: and... are... you... dating him?
Jewcess: I'm not dating anybody. Oh, and by the way, if anyone tells you about my shull companion for next week, don't think I'm dating a wierd old man... it's just gonna be my daddy. He's coming to visit.
Spiderman: LOL... that's good to know.

There it is. Take a man who has a little bit of feelings for you. Make him jealous. Dissapear for a bit and WALLAAA!!! His insecurity swirls up. Now I'm guessing he had dissapeared thinking I was actually dating this Jon Doe character, which actually brings me to the next topic:

Jon Doe DID ask me out on a date. And I DID go out with him. And he IS cute, and he IS fun. BUT. He's not classy or well educated at all. He took me out on this wonderful pic-nic with another couple, but he kept burping and scratching his belly... I'm sorry but in my book that is sooooo not normal!!! Ewwwwwwwww!!!! It was a big turn-off and that was the last of it. I don't want to see him again, not as a date at least. Of course, I will never let Spiderman know, I'd rather keep him with the idea that I am out there being showered with flowers and candy by good-looking men. :o)

Now, as for the book he wanted to discuss, my recommendation to every human being on Earth: The Power of Now- Eckhart Tolle. Really life changing. Say good bye to anger. Say goodbye to depression. Say goodby to pain for the rest of your life.

Big kiss to all of you.. I'm in a super-duper good mood now!!!!!!

8/08/2006

Something bizarre is possessing my body!!!

What I did during the weekend??? Laid in my couch(Ok, stayed late at a friend's on Shabbat and went out on Saturday night.) But during the day, I laid in my couch.

What I had for dinner last night??? Oreo ice cream sandwich and a Bloody Mary.

Where my black laundry is??? the dryer (couldn't get myself to get it out and FOLD IT??!?!)

What time I got up this morning to go to martial arts??? mmmm, after the class was already over.

What I had this morning for breakfast??? Watermelon juice and a cigarrette (my cousin was smoking and I sort of craved one, though I'm not a smoker)... come think of it.. ewwww.... my hand still smells.

Ok. I have no idea where all this bizarre behavior is coming from but, hey, it's gotta stop. In the mean time I'm trying to understand, just like you, how a person can crave a cigarrete in the morning or have ice cream and bloody mary for dinner. I'm worried, what's next? Steak for lunch? (People, remember I'm a vegetarian, so yeah, steak would be wierd and bad)

Could it be the 45 minute conversation I had with my father? (who happens to be the Secretary of Religious Affairs in my home country) Could it be all the inside info he gave me and how freaked out he sounded about Israel's position, and how tired he was after the leaders of the community met for like 15 hours to assess the situation? Could it be the fact that I feel lonlier than usual, with no news from Spiderman? Could it be the conversation I had with this adorable Israeli I dated last year (who sadly had to go back to Israel) about how he broke his arm so wasn't called by the army to go to Lebanon, when all the guys in his rank were? Could it be the fact that my Aunt who is in congress had to read a motion from a young Bimbette (who must have climbed a strange ladder to reach the parliament), sancitoning Israel?

What the heck, I don't know... I'm gone now, off to check on the switch in my head that's causing trouble.

10-4

8/07/2006

The Prime Minister will talk instead of me...

I did not hear this speech. I don't even have evidence that these were the Prime Minister's words on July 31st. But I agree with every word in this transcript, so I'm posting so the world will read (or at least the 3 people that visit my blog every day).

Israeli Prime Minister's Speech published in Maariv
July 31, 2006
"Ladies and gentlemen, leaders of the world. I, the Prime Minister of Israel, am speaking to you from Jerusalem in the face of the terrible pictures from Kfar Kana. Any human heart, wherever it is, must sicken and recoil at the sight of such pictures. There are no words of comfort that can mitigate the enormity of this tragedy. Still, I am looking you straight in the eye and telling you that the State of Israel will continue its military campaign in Lebanon.The Israel Defense Forces will continue to attack targets from which missiles and Katyusha rockets are fired at hospitals, old age homes and kindergartens in Israel. I have instructed the security forces and the IDF to continue to hunt for the Katyusha stockpiles and launch sites from which these savages are bombarding the State of Israel.We will not hesitate, we will not apologize and we will not back off. If they continue to launch missiles into Israel from Kfar Kana, we will continue to bomb Kfar Kana.
Today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. Here, there and everywhere. The children ofKfar Kana could now be sleeping peacefully in their homes, unmolested,had the agents of the devil not taken over their land and turned the lives of our children into hell.Ladies and gentlemen, it's time you understood: the Jewish state will no longer be trampled upon. We will no longer allow anyone to exploit population centers in order to bomb our citizens. No one will be able to hide anymore behind women and children in order to kill our women and children. This anarchy is
over. You can condemn us, you can boycott us, you can stop visiting us and, if necessary, we will stop visiting you.
A voice for six million citizens.
Today I am serving as the voice of six million bombarded Israeli citizens who serve as the voice of six million murdered Jews who were melted down to dust and ashes by savages in Europe. In both cases, those responsible for these evil acts were, and are, barbarians devoid of all humanity, who set themselves one simple goal: to wipe the Jewish race off the face of the earth, as Adolph Hitler said, or to wipe the State of Israel off the map, as Mahmoud Ahmedinjad proclaims. And you - just as you did not take those words seriously then, you are ignoring them again now. And that, ladies and gentlemen, leaders of the world, will not happen again.
Never again will we wait for bombs that never came to hit the gas chambers.
Never again will we wait for salvation that never arrives. Now we have our own air force. The Jewish people are now capable of standing up to those who seek their destruction - those people will no longer be able to hide behind women and children. They will no longer be able to evade their responsibility.Every place from which a Katyusha is fired into the State of Israel will be a legitimate target for us to attack. This must be stated clearly and publicly, once and for all. You are welcome to judge us, to ostracize us, to boycott us and to vilify us.
But to kill us?Absolutely not. Four months ago I was elected by hundreds of thousands of citizens to the office of Prime Minister of the government of Israel, on the basis of my plan for unilaterally withdrawing from 90 percent of the areas of Judea and Samaria, the birth place and cradle of the Jewish people; to end most of the occupation and to enable the Palestinian people to turn over a new leaf and to calm things down until conditions are ripe for attaining a permanent settlement between us.The Prime Minister who preceded me, Ariel Sharon, made a full withdrawal from the Gaza Strip back to the international border, and gave the Palestinians there a chance to build a new reality for themselves.
The Prime Minister who preceded him, Ehud Barak, ended the lengthy Israeli presence in Lebanon and pulled the IDF back to the international border, leaving the land of the cedars to flourish, develop and establish its democracy and its economy.What did the State of Israel get in exchange for all of this? Did we win even one minute of quiet? Was our hand, outstretched in peace, met with a handshake of encouragement? Ehud Barak's peace initiative at Camp David let loose on us a wave of suicide bombers who smashed and blew to pieces over 1,000 citizens, men, women and children. I don't remember you being so enraged then. Maybe that happened because we did not allow TV close-ups of the dismembered body parts of the Israeli youngsters at the Dolphinarium? Or of the shattered lives of the people butchered while celebrating the Passover seder at the Park Hotel in Netanya?
What can you do - that's the way we are. We don't wave body parts at the camera. We grieve quietly.We do not dance on the roofs at the sight of the bodies of our enemy's children - we express genuine sorrow and regret.
That is the monstrous behavior of our enemies. Now they have risen up against us. Tomorrow they will rise up against you. You are already familiar with the murderous taste of this terror. And you will taste more. In a loud and clear voice.
And Ariel Sharon's withdrawal from Gaza. What did it get us? A barrage of Kassem missiles fired at peaceful settlements and the kidnapping of soldiers. Then too, I don't recall you reacting with such alarm. And for six years, the withdrawal from Lebanon has drawn the vituperation and crimes of a dangerous, extremist Iranian agent, who took over an entire country in the name of religious fanaticism and is trying to take Israel hostage on his way to Jerusalem - and from there to Paris and London. An enormous terrorist infrastructure has been established by Iran on our border, threatening our citizens, growing stronger before our very eyes, awaiting the moment when the land of the Ayatollahs becomes a nuclear power in order to bring us to our knees.
And make no mistake - we won't go down alone. You, the leaders of the free and enlightened world, will go down along with us.So today, here and now, I am putting an end to this parade of hypocrisy. I don't recall such a wave of reaction in the face of the 100 citizens killed every single day in Iraq. Sunnis kill Shiites who kill Sunnis, and all of them kill Americans - and the world remains silent. And I am hard pressed to recall a similar reaction when the Russians destroyed entire villages and burned down large cities in order to repress the revolt in Chechnya. And when NATO bombed Kosovo for almost three months and crushed the civilian population - then you also kept silent. What is it about us, the Jews, the minority, the persecuted, that arouses this cosmic sense of justice in you? What do we have that all the others don't?In a loud clear voice, looking you straight in
the eye, I stand before you openly and I will not apologize.I will not capitulate. I will not whine. This is a battle for our freedom.For our humanity. For the right to lead normal lives within our recognized, legitimate borders. It is also your battle. I pray and I believe that now you will understand that. Because if you don't, you may regret it later, when it's too late."


If any person from the western world reading this speech could still believe Israel has an ulterior motive or a hidden agenda.. well, then it would mean the world is really, really up-side down and filled with morons.

8/04/2006

Second Try... Arghhhh!!!

What is wrong with Blogspot today? I had a great post written, (at least I think it was great) tried to upload, couldn't do it, and all of a sudden it was gone.. poof.. disappeared... bye bye... so long... So I will attempt to try and say what I said before and will maybe add more stuff and eliminate some stuff and who knows, maybe it'll be a better post or the most boring thing ever. Anyway, I was writing about the debate in my head concerning Tisha b'Av and my feelings and reactions towards it.

First thing I was saying is the fact that I LOVE reading from the Book of Lamentations, and I find that bizarre. I love the poetry, I love the meaning, I love seeing everybody humbled on the floor, without shoes, candelight only, sitting closer than ever before like a family in the peace of their living room. I find it fascinating. I cry from the first alef. I cry, yet I LOVE it. Isn't it contrary to it's purpose? Tisha B'Av is not supposed to be of your liking, or well, maybe it is. Who likes to cry? Why do I feel such peace after crying like I do? I guess it's the fact that after mourning there is always light, always hope. The peace I leave the shull with every Erev 9Av is so profound.. I believe if everybody felt the way I do, such inner peace, Messianic times would really be just around the corner.

So I go home, and I read and I meditate and thank Gd for the bond I just had with all the people of our congregation, and then I fall asleep and then the next day comes... with quite a different ambience.

Full day of work. I can't even begin to complain about having to work all day because my boss is also working, showing up early in the morning, fasting... and this is a guy who is twice my height and more than twice my weight, therefore probably needs twice as much nourishment... So, the peace I felt on Erev 9Av is gone becasue I really truly become Hulk when I fast. The lack of caffeine and of energy turns me into somebody I really don't like. I'll bite anybody's head off (well, not really becasue biting someone's head off would mean breaking fast and let's not even begin to say it would be so-not-kosher and very very non-vegetarian) But I become Hulk, really, I ain't myself when I get angry, and when I fast I'm cranky and angry all the time and then I spend all day feeling guilty about biting the janitor's head off because he, with the sweetest of intentions, on the morning of Tisha B'Av, offered me a cup of coffee. Bad, bad JewCess. :o(

So I fast and get cranky and at times reflect on why I'm doing this and how much Israel needs this and how our Bait HaMikdash has to be re-built soon and how our boys at the Tzajal make me so proud and how lucky and blessed I am that I am healthy enough to survive the fasting without any complications.

And then we break fast, all the family together, and stay together till sort-of late at night, and the next morning comes (today) and guess what I have on my desk? Yup, an 8 ounce coffee the janitor brought me with a gigantic smile on his face. I apologized of course, and he just laughed and said I'm crazy. Here he was, with coffee, smiling, with absolutely no hard-feelings from the head-biting spree of which he was a victim.

More people should be like our janitor.

Now, off to enjoy my cup of coffee and wish you all caffeine addicts like me a wonderful caffeine rush.

Hope you had a meaningful, peaceful and enlightening fast.

8/02/2006

I judged too quickly, but here's to our boys!!!

First and foremost: Rebecca, you are a sweetheart!!! You just made my day!!!! My first commenter ever!!! Yeaiiii!!!!

So I posted a whiny comment saying my family would not fast on Tisha B'Av and would mock me like they did on 17 Tammuz... but I was too quick to judge. At least the situation in Israel has brought collective conscience to all and we will all [my family and me] have a peaceful fast B'H.

Now, to lift up morale, here are some pictures of our boys from the Tzajal... the strong, corageous and compassionate boys that fight for our safety and for our right to exist. Those for whom I will daven and fast for tonight...









You gotta love them!!! For now, I leave wishing you a peaceful fast, with this quote to ponder upon:

"Jews are compassionate children of compassionate parents, and one who shows no pity for fellow creatures is assuredly not of the seed of Abraham, our father."
- Babylonian Talmud, Betzah 32a

8/01/2006

Nothing makes sense!

Today I came out as a blogger to my bestest best friend in the world, Merl. I had to, because I started reading my posts and realized I suck at writing and some posts make no sense... so I came out and appointed her Editor in Chief. So, if the blog becomes boring or things make no sense from here on, JewCess will blame Merl for it. :o)

So, to make things clear, here are some explanations I feel I have to make before I ever expect anybody to actually follow this blog, or maybe they were made before, but hey, if I wrote this and can't follow it, I can't begin to imagine that any of you could, though I'm sure most of you wouldn't have my levels of A.D.D. and maybe, sort of, could follow it as is, but anywhoo:

About me: Jewish. Conservative. Very religious. Not-Frum. Single. Craving a family. Too old to be single. Citizen of humanity. Citizen of the world. Yogini. Fashion designer. Madly in love with Spiderman.*

*Spiderman: He started this blog being he-who-rocks-my-world... and I really don't even know when I finally stated he's the Rabbi-to-be-who-rocks-my-world. In my tiny limited head I still think he's the love of my life and I will never ever find someone as wonderful as him. The only thing keeping him from perfection: He's not in love with me. :oP

If you want to know the reasons why we broke up, besides distance, click here.

Things that keep my head from thinking of Spiderman:
-Israel and the war (this makes me a lot sadder than my broken heart, I'd rather just be crying over unrequitted love)
-RenReb's blog (mmm, nah)
-Yoga (mmm... quite the opposite)
-Books (hmmmm... most remind me of him, because I always read and find something I would love to discuss with him)

Ok, just realized there aren't too many things to keep him off my head. Au contraire, what keeps him IN my head:
-Shull
-Music
-My yoga class (it's in his parent's building)
-My yoga master (his cousin)
-Books
-Shabbat
-Fondue
-Comics
-My fave restaurant (where we actually met)
-RenReb's blog (I want to be HIS Renegade Rebbetzin)
-Movies (he's seen EVERY movie in the world.. ok maybe not EVERY movie but almost)
-Soccer
-Kosher cheeseburgers

Ok... enough torture. Everything reminds me of him. I'm a lunatic.

Enough of this drama queen stuff, back to NOW and more importante things. 9Av is tomorrow and I will make sure to focus on the well-being of the world. I've said it before: Let's fast for better days to come. For peace. For love. For tolerance.

We're the love generation.