The countdown is almost over and the New Year will be here in no time. Time for instrospection, retrospection, letting go and moving forward. Quality time with the Almighty. Quality time within our souls and ourselves...
Chatima tova. May Gd write and seal you in the best of places and may this following year be oh-so-sweet!
9/20/2006
9/19/2006
the intervention i never told you about and moving out...
Sometime in June I mentioned an intervention in a post and never detailed about what had happened. One of my roommates, an adorable girl whom I love truly, is having sort of a late quarter-life crisis or a very early mid-life crisis. She's 30 yrs old, unemployed and single. Her focus on life has been partying, drinking and hooking up with men. Men that she brings home, which is my worst concern. That day I never told you guys about, my phone rang before 6am, with some stranger calling me saying he was with her, she was passed out and had no idea what to do with her. So, yeah, I had to take care of her and get her home. That was rock bottom. So we had a little intervention, some close friends told her what we thought and felt and how we get hurt with her behavior.
So she has been drinking less... but she hasn't been seeing less men. Well, actually she has, but let me get to the bottom of the story...
She's so needy and lonely that she will hook up with any man who hits on her; it can be 2 or 3 men a week. Of course they never take her seriously. I have been asked by a couple of people if she's actually a call girl, since people see her out with a different guy every single night. So of course, this is bugging the heck out of me. If it makes her happy, then cool. But I doubt it does. i think she feels lonelier and lonelier. But here's the deal: I live with non-jewish girls. I don't mind. They respect my stuff, I respect theirs. But I live in a very tight jewish community and for crying out loud, I had been dating a rabbi. I want a nice jewish family, husband, kids, SUV, dog, shabbat, the whole package. I shouldn't care what people say, but hey, I don't want to hang on to her reputation.
So, now her standpoint is interesting...she says she's more stable now. Yeah, she's been seeing the same guy for 3-4 weeks now. That's what she calls stable. Who is the guy? My cousin's brother-in-law. And darn, he's jewish. And he's very religious. And very orthodox. And dating a goy. Oy vey! A goy who's actually my friend. A goy whom I introduced him to with absolut naiveness. A goy who is 6 yrs older than him. So sadly, it is time to run away as fast as I can. This is gonna get messy and I don't want to be near the mess. So, I sadly had to decide to move out from my beautiful room with the gigantic window overlooking the Pacific. Sigh. I am sad about that. I guess it's a new beginning. I am moving in with my family until I get the apartment I bought, that is being under construction... it'll be at least 6 months till delivery.
I wish her well. Hope she doesn't get hurt too badly, but they have lost north. They lost the whole compass for crying out loud! They're leaving to Cuba or Cartagena or CanCun or some fun summer destination next week. And I will move out.
So yeah... we have been very polite and friendly. I have been 100% honest. I have told her I am not going to try to change her, and I can't share her lifestyle so for my sake and the friendship's sake, I am moving out.
The end of an era. Sigh.
So she has been drinking less... but she hasn't been seeing less men. Well, actually she has, but let me get to the bottom of the story...
She's so needy and lonely that she will hook up with any man who hits on her; it can be 2 or 3 men a week. Of course they never take her seriously. I have been asked by a couple of people if she's actually a call girl, since people see her out with a different guy every single night. So of course, this is bugging the heck out of me. If it makes her happy, then cool. But I doubt it does. i think she feels lonelier and lonelier. But here's the deal: I live with non-jewish girls. I don't mind. They respect my stuff, I respect theirs. But I live in a very tight jewish community and for crying out loud, I had been dating a rabbi. I want a nice jewish family, husband, kids, SUV, dog, shabbat, the whole package. I shouldn't care what people say, but hey, I don't want to hang on to her reputation.
So, now her standpoint is interesting...she says she's more stable now. Yeah, she's been seeing the same guy for 3-4 weeks now. That's what she calls stable. Who is the guy? My cousin's brother-in-law. And darn, he's jewish. And he's very religious. And very orthodox. And dating a goy. Oy vey! A goy who's actually my friend. A goy whom I introduced him to with absolut naiveness. A goy who is 6 yrs older than him. So sadly, it is time to run away as fast as I can. This is gonna get messy and I don't want to be near the mess. So, I sadly had to decide to move out from my beautiful room with the gigantic window overlooking the Pacific. Sigh. I am sad about that. I guess it's a new beginning. I am moving in with my family until I get the apartment I bought, that is being under construction... it'll be at least 6 months till delivery.
I wish her well. Hope she doesn't get hurt too badly, but they have lost north. They lost the whole compass for crying out loud! They're leaving to Cuba or Cartagena or CanCun or some fun summer destination next week. And I will move out.
So yeah... we have been very polite and friendly. I have been 100% honest. I have told her I am not going to try to change her, and I can't share her lifestyle so for my sake and the friendship's sake, I am moving out.
The end of an era. Sigh.
9/15/2006
Commitment-Phobia
ok ok ok ok ok!!!! I know I'm the only one to blame... I keep choosing to date commitment-phobic men. It has got to be something in me that gets drawn to that type of man even if I don't know he IS that type of man.
so right now, what I need is a Masculine-Language-to-English-translation. Here's the story:
I told you about Mr. Quiet. He returned from his busniess trip less and less quiet. Fantastic!!! We talked every day, even asked me out to dinner with his close friends on Saturday night. We had a blast! I play a weekly Risk game every Tuesday night, and quiet guy advised my friends that the game was being moved to Monday, cause Tuesday was his birthday... yes, HE organized and talked to my friends and behaved boyfriend-ish, without me ever asking. So, his birthday comes and he asks me for my friends' full names to invite them to his party... it was like 10 of his closest people and MY friends... again, quite boyfriendy, no?
So, tequila tequila tequila (it had been 10 yrs since I had my last tequila in CanCun for my senior trip). Anywhooo... we were really hitting it off. I was feeling happy. I was feeling taken care of. I was not thinking about anything other than I really like spending time with this guy and I really would like to get to know what he's about.
Not-so-quiet-anymore-guy: So, what do you want from me?
Jewcess: Mmmmm... nothing. (I keep laughing and dancing and partying)
time passes...
Jewcess: What do YOU want from me?
Not-so-quiet-anymore-guy: nothing... (laugh)but you're gonna have to tell me what you want from me when I drive you home.
So, he's driving me home, and honestly, this is 4am on a Tuesday night, I have had tequila, I am thinking the realtionship is walking marvelously and from what I can clearly recall from the conversation he said:
"I don't want a serious relationship. I don't want commitment. I just came out of a relationship. I don't want to report myself to someone 24/7 and I don't want to call anybody my girlfriend. I really like you and I have lots of fun with you but I don't want anything serious right now with anybody"
Of course, the only thing that crossed my mind was to give him a peck on the cheek, saying, I really love hanging out with you, but I guess we're in different channels...and got out of the car.
Wednesday morning he said we would talk about this another time, cause he knows it was really crazy timing (no sh** Sherlock!!!)... anywhooo, I would love to have a translator cause I am really doubting what he said or what he meant because of the inconsistency of his actions.
In a nutshell, yes, he is not that into me, and that is that, which is why unless he pulls down heaven and earth for me, we're through... but, did he really mean:
A) I really like you, but I'm freaking out. I just got out of a relationship and with you I would love to take it really slow so we don't do something stupid.
B) I've had fun, but hey, I'm done. Bye bye, baby, bye bye.
C) I wanna see how much power I have over you and see if you're gonna take all my crap.
D) None of the above.
So, watcha all think?
so right now, what I need is a Masculine-Language-to-English-translation. Here's the story:
I told you about Mr. Quiet. He returned from his busniess trip less and less quiet. Fantastic!!! We talked every day, even asked me out to dinner with his close friends on Saturday night. We had a blast! I play a weekly Risk game every Tuesday night, and quiet guy advised my friends that the game was being moved to Monday, cause Tuesday was his birthday... yes, HE organized and talked to my friends and behaved boyfriend-ish, without me ever asking. So, his birthday comes and he asks me for my friends' full names to invite them to his party... it was like 10 of his closest people and MY friends... again, quite boyfriendy, no?
So, tequila tequila tequila (it had been 10 yrs since I had my last tequila in CanCun for my senior trip). Anywhooo... we were really hitting it off. I was feeling happy. I was feeling taken care of. I was not thinking about anything other than I really like spending time with this guy and I really would like to get to know what he's about.
Not-so-quiet-anymore-guy: So, what do you want from me?
Jewcess: Mmmmm... nothing. (I keep laughing and dancing and partying)
time passes...
Jewcess: What do YOU want from me?
Not-so-quiet-anymore-guy: nothing... (laugh)but you're gonna have to tell me what you want from me when I drive you home.
So, he's driving me home, and honestly, this is 4am on a Tuesday night, I have had tequila, I am thinking the realtionship is walking marvelously and from what I can clearly recall from the conversation he said:
"I don't want a serious relationship. I don't want commitment. I just came out of a relationship. I don't want to report myself to someone 24/7 and I don't want to call anybody my girlfriend. I really like you and I have lots of fun with you but I don't want anything serious right now with anybody"
Of course, the only thing that crossed my mind was to give him a peck on the cheek, saying, I really love hanging out with you, but I guess we're in different channels...and got out of the car.
Wednesday morning he said we would talk about this another time, cause he knows it was really crazy timing (no sh** Sherlock!!!)... anywhooo, I would love to have a translator cause I am really doubting what he said or what he meant because of the inconsistency of his actions.
In a nutshell, yes, he is not that into me, and that is that, which is why unless he pulls down heaven and earth for me, we're through... but, did he really mean:
A) I really like you, but I'm freaking out. I just got out of a relationship and with you I would love to take it really slow so we don't do something stupid.
B) I've had fun, but hey, I'm done. Bye bye, baby, bye bye.
C) I wanna see how much power I have over you and see if you're gonna take all my crap.
D) None of the above.
So, watcha all think?
9/04/2006
dating is terrifying!!!
I wonder what it is about dating when you reach a certain age. I remember being 18/19 and falling head over heels with no stress, not thinking twice about it and saying what came into my head. I don't know if I've had way too many dissapointments, read to many "Rules" books or books with titles like "he's not that into you" maybe it's the fact that Spiderman talks to a wall if necessary and would never shut up and my new date is quiet as a mouse and freaks the heck out of me cause I don't know what goes on in his head.... I'm totally freaking out!!!!
So, here's an update: I have talked and seen him every day. Which according to "The Rules" is soooooo wrong cause he'll fall out of like ASAP. He left on a business trip today. Do you know how long ago was the last time I was seeing someone who was not leaving the country in a few days? Someone I could see every day? So, yeah, I'm freaking out.
People who are starting to fall for each other usually talk and laugh a lot. And we do, but just a bit. He's sooo darn quiet!!! He comes up with a joke or two. And we talk, it's not like we're always quiet.... but I'm used to speaking my mind and debating and talking and giving my opinions.. and he is very conservative with words. It's a good hting... I'm enough of a Word Tsunami for both of us.... LOL.
Oh well... he left and will be back in a couple of days. Hope he misses me, hope he thinks of me, hope my insecurities go down the drain before he gets back.
Anybody out there ever date a quiet, quiet man? I need to know if it's normal!!! HELP!!!
So, here's an update: I have talked and seen him every day. Which according to "The Rules" is soooooo wrong cause he'll fall out of like ASAP. He left on a business trip today. Do you know how long ago was the last time I was seeing someone who was not leaving the country in a few days? Someone I could see every day? So, yeah, I'm freaking out.
People who are starting to fall for each other usually talk and laugh a lot. And we do, but just a bit. He's sooo darn quiet!!! He comes up with a joke or two. And we talk, it's not like we're always quiet.... but I'm used to speaking my mind and debating and talking and giving my opinions.. and he is very conservative with words. It's a good hting... I'm enough of a Word Tsunami for both of us.... LOL.
Oh well... he left and will be back in a couple of days. Hope he misses me, hope he thinks of me, hope my insecurities go down the drain before he gets back.
Anybody out there ever date a quiet, quiet man? I need to know if it's normal!!! HELP!!!
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